“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.”- Paul Boose
We all experience things in life that push us to our breaking points and in those moments when we have hit rock bottom, we must find the strength to get back up. Sometimes the source of the pain is circumstances and other times, people are at the fault of it. But this is not about the pain I suffered; it’s about how I overcame it.
I, like so many other people have been hurt. I’ve been hurt more times than I could remember. I’ve been hurt by family members, people I considered friends, peers, co-workers, strangers, and the list goes on. Every time someone had hurt me, it felt as if a part of me changed. I carried all the pain I had suffered at the hands of others. It took a huge toll out of my life because I had major trust issues and I was filled with so much resentment, guilt, self-pity, and self- hate. I was completely unhappy. But then one day it occurred to me, not only was I letting this pain derail my life, I realized I did not want to be the person that allowed people to hurt me. I did these seven things to subdue the hurt and move forward with my life
1. Don’t dwell on the past
It has been said before but it is true, the past is the past. It cannot be undone. Accept what was, so you can focus on the becoming.
2. Defend yourself
We are only responsible for ourselves – we have no control over what anyone else do or say. With that said, if someone does hurt you, stand up for yourself. No one has the right to try to make you feel inferior.
3. Surround yourself with positive people
People have a huge impact in your life. Therefore, choose the company you keep wisely.
4. If the person who hurt you is still in your life, have an honest conversation with them
A good way to work on finding a resolution for any problem is to talk about it. This way the person is aware of the hurt they caused and you may even receive an apology.
5. Spread the love
I firmly believe that love conquers all and if we all loved more, we would not have time to degrade each other.
6. Forgive them
As hard as this is, it is necessary to moving forward. Like Buddha once said, “Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”
7. Forgive you
Most importantly, forgive yourself. A lot of times, bad experiences still linger in our everyday lives because we just moved on from the incident. Chances are we may even forgiven everyone except the most important person and that is you. Forgive yourself for allowing those bad things to happen. You are not perfect and you deserve a break.
We are all doing our best at trying to become the best possible versions of ourselves. Bruises, bumps, and pain just happen to be a part of the journey. Forgiveness is the key to happiness. When someone hurts you, what do you typical do to heal yourself? I’d like to hear in the comments.